The Genius Husband has just started a new business and wants to have a party this weekend to tell every one about it. Which means of course that I am planning a party, inviting people, making food, ordering business cards, you know, all the stuff that is hidden in the subtext of the wife contract, secretary, event planner, nurse, and personal assistant. I must have missed reading that part before I signed on and the wife of the GH. I don't mind though.
So yesterday I was calling the last people on the list to make sure they knew about it, and trying to think of anyone that we'd forgotten. My morning went like this.
Pick up phone and head to computer to get phone number.
Put the phone down and rescue small choking size item from baby's mouth. Pick up baby and move her to a place where she can't so easily find breakfast crumbs.
Look for phone.
Stop to tell child who is playing with the baby too exuberantly to stop. Pick up baby who is now crying. Nurse for a while to comfort her. Completely forget about phone call.
Head over to computer, remember phone call. Look for phone again.
Answer 50 million kid questions while looking for phone.
Find phone. Make a mad dash for the computer to avoid interception. Success, make phone call.
Get off phone and put out several small fires, deal with arguments, realize they need lunch.
Go to kitchen and look for lunch food.
Go to bath room to wipe the Girl's bum.
Pick up tired crying baby who needs a nap NOW!
While trying to get the baby to sleep two friends come peeking in at the window. Allow children to run off to the playground with their friends. Decide this is a good time to check the mail and grab keys to follow. Talk to another grown-up at the playground for a few minutes. Get mail, head to leasing office to pick up a package. Drag package, mail, the now sleeping baby and children back to the house.
Put baby down in bed, with the ever so helpful screams from the Girl of MOM, MOM, MOM, in the background. Soothe baby who wakes while hissing at her to be quiet.
Go out and make lunch.
Feed children. Head back to the computer.
Phone rings. Answer. Yes we would love to go swimming with you when the baby wakes up. Decide to get kids into swim wear now.
Dig around for swim suits. Dig some more for swim suits. Order children to find swimsuits. Find all of the floaties and put them in one bag near the door. Let them watch planet Earth.
Try to sort laundry.
Remember that you are making phone calls. Look for phone
It's in the laundry basket. Make another phone call, leave message.
Try to get business cards ordered. Call husband to confirm spellings of stuff. Keep telling children that I am not watching the show so stop asking em questions about it because I don't know the answer. Tell them again, tell them for the hundredth time.
Tell other little boy sticking his head near the window that we will be going to the pool as soon as the baby is awake. Enjoy his shock at my clairvoyance. Enjoy less the path that children now start beating between the pool gate and our front door as they try to wait for their sister to wake up.
Remember the laundry, it needs to be ready to go so I can put it in before we swim. Load up the cart with two loads.
Go back to unfinished business cards.
Run outside to make sure children are still nearby. They cavort excitedly at the pool gate.
Go back to business cards. Mess with placement.
Respond to first child whining, can we go now, can we go now can we go now?
Explain that the baby is still sleeping.
Go back to business cards.
No we can't go yet Baby is still sleeping. No I don't know where your toy is. N0 I can't help you find it. Wait five minutes.
Place business card order.
Get up to help find toy.
Gather newly wakened baby and tuck her under my arm.
While holding her measure out laundry detergent into container. Look for quarters. Realize the quarters are next to the laundry detergent, head back to get them.
Balance baby, laundry cart, and keys on the way out the door. Lock the door.
Get to the pool, ask friend to watch kids for a second while I load the machines. Sit down in the shade to chat for an hour before it's time to fold laundry start making dinner.