I've started wondering, as I keep this gratitude journal, what would have been different about my life if all my other journals had been designated gratitude journals as well. I imagine myself in a moment of ennui turning to my journal for solace and pausing for a moment over a blank page. I would want to pour out all the pain and anger onto the page, but this was a record of gratitude. My pen would hover. "What was there to give thanks for in this?"
And that question could have changed so much. Because there is always something. Searching for the blessings instead of dwelling on the sorrow could have changed me for the better, altered my perspective, taught me reactions other than self pity so much sooner.
Well, better late than never.
Here are a few things this week that made it into my journal.
One evening at dinner the Genius Husband and the baby were playing a game, he would lean up close to her face and say "boo". And she would laugh and laugh and laugh. And then every one else started laughing too. For 5 or 10 minutes the only sound around our table, in our home, was the sound of children laughing merrily.
Walks at sunset at the end of a sunny crisp autumn day.
The Baby dragging me from my chair to stand with them and play with balloons. We spent several minute just hitting the leftover balloons from the Boy's party back and forth at each other. And laughing, again with the laughter.
Mid-morning dance parties.
A husband who makes breakfast on his day off.
An organization in Australia wants to partner with us in building an orphanage that will be a safe place for kids who make it across the border into Thailand from Burma. Right now the only place they know to go is to a monastery, but the police know to find them there and deport them, and the slave traders know to find them there too, and they end up in brothels in Bangkok. It looks like we will be able to make a safe place for them much sooner than we anticipated.
After the big kids are in bed it usually takes the baby a while longer to wind down and fall asleep. She usually plays by herself while I get things done. Last night she was following me around so I gave her a job. I gave her a kiss and whispered in her ear, "Go and give this kiss to Daddy." She obediently ran and gave him my kiss, and then he gave her one to bring back for me. For several minutes she was kept busy passing kisses for mommy and daddy. It was almost as much fun as kissing him myself.
The discipline of gratitude
The smell of sun warmed eucalyptus trees as they start to cool at sun down.
A cool breeze and warm sunshine on my face together.
Fresh smelling cold night air creeping in the window.
A strong shoulder to fall asleep on.
Granny smith apples.
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