I have so much on my mind today, and I can't write about some of it. Things are changing for people I love, but I promised not to tell. And I'm ambivalent about the changes. Hoping praying that they will bring lasting happiness to the ones I love and knowing that the path ahead may prove hard, maybe too hard. And trying to let go of the desire to protect in exchange for the much healthier interaction of just loving and supporting, come what may.
I need to find a place to stay for January and February. We can't stay here without renewing our lease or paying some exorbitant month to month rate. But we're not going to be ready to go until March probably. It would help to cut way down on our monthly expenses. Free would be good. Anyone need a house sitter?
I'M MOVING TO THAILAND PEOPLE! The reality is finally starting to sink in. It's the sorting and not packing that's done it. (What? Don't you not pack too? You know, where you look at things and think to yourself that you ought to start packing them, or getting rid of them, and then, you look at some more things and do the same.)
My MIL wants us all to go to Mexico together for a weekend in December to help out at an orphanage. It's the three days right in between the girls birthday and less than 10 day before we have to move out of here. I think she's disappointed that I'm less than enthusiastic about the whole idea, but just thinking about it and I'm exhausted.
And yet... what a cool memory that would be... Why does the timing have to suck so much?
I must say that I hope the people who were the most ardent Obama supporters aren't too disappointed once they realize that they will still have to pay their mortgage, and gas prices haven't magically gone down now that he is the president elect.
It's not like when he promised the figurative chicken in every pot he really meant he would be giving every one in the US a literal chicken. But American voters are more sophisticated than that right? They knew he wouldn't be able to deliver on even half of his campaign promises, no one can, so they won't be all that heart broken when things don't change all that much. The tears were just...because he's so shiny, yeah that's it.
I wish him well though. I really do. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the mess he's been handed.
I realized just the other day that the profile picture I have up is more than a decade old now. My dad took it when my sister and I were trying to start a band together and needed publicity pics. When I started blogging it was the only picture of myself that I had on my computer back then, before digital cameras entered my life. I feel I ought to replace it with something more current, but I fear the sudden sight of my currently haggard face will cause you all too much shock. I need to ease you into it with a montage that shows me aging or something.
As a sign that we all eat our vegetables around here I cleaned up a puddle of pink pee this morning. I finally realized that it's probably because we're having a lot of purple cabbage these days. And the Baby's diaper was a charming shade of orange from eating so many carrots.
I have a couple of loads of laundry to do but I don't want to walk them over to do it. I'm too afraid they'll be stolen, again. I don't have the luxury of spending an hour and a half guarding my stuff every single day against a person with apparently no sense of decency whatsoever. I have about 2 hours left to get over this because it needs to be done today.
Hot little baby heads snuggled near your face when the air is crisp feel just about perfect. Head butts, not so much.