It's one of those mornings.
This morning I ran over with the kids to pick up the laundry that I forgot about last night. By the time I remembered the doors to the laundry room were locked. This has happened hundreds of times in the 3 years we have lived here and nothing has come of it. I guess we've just been lucky.
This morning a load and a half of laundry was gone, and my laundry cart. Random stuff was stolen, bed liners, baby clothes, the GH's dress pants. It makes no sense to me.
The greatest tragedies are the baby blanket my great grandmother crocheted for me 32 years ago and I've had ever since. She passed away 4 years ago. It was a comfort to have that around, to cover my children with it, to imagine her with hers. It's gone now.
And the Boy's new pants that we got for his birthday. Those can be replaced, but he is upset.
It's a small thing really. We are needing to get rid of the stuff we have accumulated over several years. We aren't taking it with us when we go to Thailand.
They are only things. And yet I am sad.
And I feel a little bit childish because of it.
Remember Chala? He's still taking care of orphaned refugee kids. He moved them to the new district where they can get papers. He's got bigger problems than I. His wife left him. His in-laws decided he wasn't taking care of them well enough, which is his cultural obligation when he married her, and so they left, and she went with them as is custom. And still he struggles to keep these kids fed and clothed and healthy.
What is a bit of missing laundry compared with that?
I must get stronger, hold to things more lightly, remember what is really important.
There were bugs in the oatmeal when I went to make breakfast after the laundry. And as I washed them out, (Yeah, we ate it anyway) changing the water over and over again I wondered how often I'll find myself doing this in 6 months or so. Washing bugs out of grain is almost normal for me now, I've done it enough. What else am I going to have to get used to?
I feel the stretching, the pulling of these inconveniences as I try to keep them in perspective, try to remember that they aren't that big of a deal. I fight with myself, the desire to just stay and be comfortable warring with the knowledge that it isn't about me. There are bigger more important things at stake, a story to be told and written into the lives of the least of these, children that the world has forgotten. There is a chance here to be a player in an on going epic, the story of kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven. If I can just stop thinking about myself and my own comfort. If I can just raise my eyes to the bigger picture.
Today it feels like a thousand tiny griefs stabbing at me as I sort and sift through things, stuff, and know I can't take them with me. And yet, I know that once they are gone I will be more free.
I need to learn to travel light.
Donations can still be made to help Chala, and the others like him. The kids need mosquito nets. There is malaria in their new district. And uniforms so they can go to school.
Go here to learn how.
Also, the store is up. Sort of. There is more stock to list and I'll be doing that this week. I had to figure out how to use an FTP client because I was having trouble publishing everything. I'm trying to figure out a more efficient way to do it. Go ahead and share if you have ideas.