26.2.10

When "the talk" drops in unexpectedly.

Lat night as I was tucking her in the Girl suddenly asked, "What parts am I missing to be a lady mom?"

Not sure I was understanding properly I asked, "What do you mean."

"Like in the first Princess Diaries when Mia says she doesn't even have all her, her, her, um lady parts yet. What parts am I missing?"

Swallowing a laugh I knelt next to her bed and said, "You already have all of the parts inside you, and when you get be 12 or older those parts will start changing and growing until they are woman parts."

"Yeah, I know my boobies will get big 'cause right now I have just nipples, and I will get hair down here," she said, gesturing appropriately.

"Yes, and also on your armpits and your leg hair will probably get coarser too."

Since we were already there I figured I would take the plunge and tell her everything. "And your hips will spread and get wider to make room for a baby and you will grow breasts so you can feed babies when you have them, and you will start to have what is called a period."

She wrinkled her forehead, "What's that?"

"When your body starts to get ready to have babies it will send a little egg into your uterus and the uterus will start getting ready to feed a baby if the egg is fertilized by lining itself with blood."

(Yeah, we've already had the egg and sperm talk, ever since I was pregnant with Little.)


"If there is no baby, which there won't be until you have a husband to make a baby with," notice how the work of indoctrination got snuck in there oh so subtly, "the egg and the blood go out of your uterus at the end of the month to get ready to try again the next month and it comes out of your vagina."

"Is it like water?" she asked.

"No, it's blood, it looks and smells like blood, because that's what it is. You will wear a pad inside your panties to catch it and keep it from getting on your clothes, and change it every time you go to the bathroom. It's only for a few days a month."

"That's weird," she laughed.

"Yes, I bet it does sound weird to you, because you are only 6. Once it starts happening you won't think it's so weird anymore. But there are a lot of years before that happens when you will still be a girl."

"Yeah, but then I'll be a teenager!"

Since I could tell the Boy was listening avidly from the top bunk I decided might I might as well go for broke. "You buddy will get taller, your chest will widen, your voice will deepen, you will get hair all over you, including on your face. Your penis will get bigger, your balls will drop, and you will be on your way to being a man."

A huge grin cracked his face. "Then I'll be like a grown-up."

I didn't get into nocturnal emissions. Blood? Sure, I can talk about that. How babies are born and conceived, no problem. Imma gonna let his dad explain to him about wet dreams.

So that was my evening. What did you do?

8 comments:

  1. Oh my! :)
    I think you handled that very well, and I agree....Daddy can handle the boy stuff.
    I've had "the talk" with my daughter...right now, though, my 5 year old son is still at the stage when he thinks it's funny to talk about "boobs" and penises. We shall wait until he gets past the whole shock-value-is-funny stage before we elaborate on anything, lest he try explaining the facts of life to his Sunday School class. LOL
    And I will let his Dad cover as much of it as possible. It's only fair since I had to explain things to my then 3 1/2 year old about how she was getting a baby brother. :)

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  2. Oh, and he proudly announced to the lady at the grocery store who was trying to convince me to sign up for their debit card that Mommy wasn't going to have any more babies. Because she'd had surgery. Oh my. :)

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  3. Gosh we are soo similar in how we handle these things. Oldest found out about periods when he was about 5 and walked in on me pulling out a tampon. I calmly explained what I was doing and it went from there.
    Great job, Mom!! You rock.
    BTW, we've already had the wet dreams talk, and it wasn't so bad. We are determined to be the end-all resource to our kids in this area. We've told them we will tell them the truth about these things and to always ask us and not their friends. Such fun!

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  4. Well I didn't have nearly as exciting of an evening as you did :)

    I'm so glad you posted this...I fear I'll be a babbling idiot when it comes to 'the talk.'

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  5. We didn't have nearly as much excitement at bedtime as you did, that's fer sure!!! i like the idea of being honest and up front with kids. Not sure yet what is too much info, but I guess if they initiate conversation we can just carry on till they lose interest?

    One of my relatives said that she thinks kids need to know names of parts (I agree) and how they work (yeaaaah, well sorta agree.)

    The "don't totally agree" part is that, while they need to know a little about how the parts work, it shouldn't be done in a way that incites curiousity or experimenting, ya know? My oldest is 7 and male. We need to figure this out now. Your thoughts? Discussion anybody?

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  6. Anonymous10:10 PM

    My biggest fear is having my children discuss it in public especially with other kids. How to you remain open and honest yet still get it across to your kids that this is private? My parents NEVER discussed sex at all, even when I became a teen. I was more innocent on my wedding night than most preteens. LOL I want my kids, my three girls to be comfortable talking about it with me but I want them to be discreet in public. Help :-) My oldest is six right now.

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  7. Anonymous,
    We have always told our kids the truth about "Santa", but we made it clear to them that other parents want their kids to believe in Santa until the parents tell them. I coached them a few times around Christmas, "Now, remember, other kids might believe in Santa, and you just play along, okay?" And that seems to have always worked.
    So when it came to sex, I explained to them that, just like Santa, some parents hadn't told their kids "the truth" about sex yet. And that they were not to talk about it with other people. We practiced what to do if one of their friends asked them: "I think you should talk to your parents about that." - is the answer we tell them to give. So far, it's not been a problem. My kids are 4, 7 and 10. Hope that helps.

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  8. Good Job momma!!! Making it casual conversation... and the truth.

    you have scored yourself points for the future because now they know their mom knows stuff. She knows the real stuff and doesn't make things up to make these stories palatable for kids. Nice work!!!

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